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Workbook 02:
Cooling and Confidence

For many couples the first weeks of counseling focus on learning to cool down heated arguments and gain confidence in your ability to show up for each other.  You find information and worksheets here.  Follow your counselor's personalized plan.  If you are exploring on your own we recommend the following interventions to redirect your relationship into more healthy and positive patterns.​

Old Alarm Clock

01

Time Out

One key to a happy marriage is being able to call a time out and stop yourselves from hurting each other further.

Resources for Time Out are available for you!

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02

Self-regulation

One of the more difficult parts of your couple attachment is how hard it can be to self-regulate when your connection is threatened.  

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Elephant in Wild
wall Image by David Clode

03

The Alligator Intervention

One way to change the pattern in your relationship is to create a game-plan for how to respond when your partner snaps or gets dysregulated.  This intervention helps create that plan. 

04

Stop Negative Reciprocity

Stopping negative reciprocity involves recognizing the negative cycle you are caught in as a couple, and making intentional decisions to respond with grace and space to stop the tornado.  Learn more about negative reciprocity here

referee
start Image by Jakob Owens

-05

The Video Intervention

One of the best ways to illuminate your patterns is to record yourselves discussing a difficult topic and then watch the video.  Every couple who has tried this interention has walked away with ideas on how to communicate more effectively in the future

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